♫ Loading MIDI: hamsterdance.mid ...
(there is no music. I couldn't figure it out.)
★ ★ ★ NEW!!! UPDATED 02/08/2000!!! ★ ★ ★
★★★ WELCOME TO GORDON'S PAGE ★★★ I spent way too long on this ★★★ Please don't judge me ★★★ Actually, go ahead, I deserve it ★★★
GoRdOn'S wOrLd

~~~~ I made a whole website instead of texting like a normal person ~~~~ established February 2000 ~~~~
*:..｡o○ ○o｡..:* *:..｡o○ ○o｡..:* *:..｡o○ ○o｡..:*
☰ NAVIGATION ☰
✉ The Message ★ Fun Facts ✍ Guestbook 🔗 Cool Links 🚧 Coming Soon ✉ Email Me!
AIM Status:
● xXGordonFan99Xx
Currently: Away
"away from my computer, which is where I spend most of my time, so this tracks"
☮

♥ GORDON RULES ♥

🐸
my pet hamster Biscuit
(not a real hamster, I can't
keep anything alive)
🎵 NOW PLAYING 🎵
"All Star"
by Smash Mouth
(the only song I know
all the words to, which
says a lot about me)
♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
✉ ✉ ✉ A MESSAGE FOR GORDON ✉ ✉ ✉

★ Hey Gordon! ★

Hey Gordon. I'm just checking in. I was going to send a text, maybe an email, but figured nothing says hello like a poorly designed old website. I hope you are swell. Not swollen, but swell.

~ sent with love, and bad HTML.~

I could have just called. I know that. You know that.
Instead I did this.
Call me anytime babe.

👋
★ FUN FACTS ABOUT GORDON ★
# VERIFIED* GORDON FACT
1 Gordon has friends who text him like normal people. I am not one of those friends, apparently.
2 Gordon can parallel park on the first try. I cannot parallel park on any try. I just drive around the block until a bigger spot opens up. Sometimes I just go home.
3 Gordon has never made a website to say hello to someone. This is because Gordon has normal social skills.
4 Gordon once lent me a pen and it actually worked. I have never lent anyone a working pen in my life. I'm not sure I've ever owned one.
5 Gordon remembers people's names the first time he meets them. I once forgot my own dentist's name mid-appointment.
6 Gordon's internet connection has never buffered. Mine buffered twice while making this website. The second time I just sat there and accepted it.
7 Gordon would never spend an entire evening making this. And yet here we are. I could have gone for a walk.

*"verified" by a committee of one (me) at approximately 2:00 AM when I should have been sleeping

🔥 REASONS I MADE A WEBSITE INSTEAD OF TEXTING 🔥
  1. A text felt too casual. An email felt too formal. A website felt unhinged. I went with unhinged.
  2. I already had the tab open. It seemed wasteful to close it.
  3. I wanted to prove I could build a website. I have not proven that. Look at this.
  4. I was avoiding doing laundry and this seemed like a productive alternative. It was not.
  5. I thought it would take 20 minutes. It has been several hours. I've made choices I can't undo.
  6. At some point I added a sparkle cursor trail and I knew there was no going back.
  7. My therapist says I should "express myself creatively." I don't think she meant this.
  8. I googled "how to say hi to a friend" and somehow ended up learning what a marquee tag is.
  9. I briefly considered learning Flash. I didn't, but the fact that I considered it is concerning.
  10. HONESTLY I JUST MISS YOU, GORDON. THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON.
📊 IMPORTANT POLL 📊

Q: Was building this website a good use of time?

☑ No         97%
☐ Absolutely not    
 
   3%

Total votes: 1 (me, voting twice)  |  Poll closes: Please

✍ GUESTBOOK ✍ SIGN IT!!!
xXxDarkAngel1999xXx — 01/15/2000 3:42 PM

found this site by accident while looking for something else. honestly not sure what I just read. hope you're ok. ~*~ dArK aNgEl OuT ~*~

CoolDude_99 — 01/22/2000 7:18 PM

this might be the saddest thing ive ever seen on the internet and ive seen a lot. i respect the commitment tho. tell gordon i said hey i guess

~*SuNfLoWeR_GiRl*~ — 02/01/2000 11:05 AM

you know you could have just... texted him right?? anyway this made me call my own friends so maybe this site is doing more good than it knows ♥

HACKERM4N — 02/05/2000 2:33 AM

i tried to hack this site but there was nothing to hack. the source code is just vibes and sadness. also the comic sans crashed my script. which honestly felt appropriate.

The Webmaster (me) — 02/07/2000 11:47 PM

Testing to see if the guestbook works. It does not. I wrote these entries manually. All of these people are me. I am so tired.

Gordon's Mom — 02/08/2000 6:12 PM

Gordon honey your friend made you a website. I don't understand it but I printed it out. It used all the ink. Please call me. Also how do I close this window?? Love, Mom

✍ SIGN THE GUESTBOOK ✍

🌐 COOL LINKS 🌐
The Official Gordon Fan Club Homepage
Top 100 Coolest Websites (we are not on it)
Search the Web with AltaVista!
Check Your Hotmail
Download Winamp (it really whips the llama's...)
FREE Animated Cursors!!!
🚧 UNDER CONSTRUCTION 🚧
🚧

THIS SECTION IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Coming soon (it is not coming soon):
★ Gordon Photo Gallery - I don't actually have any photos of Gordon. I should probably fix that before building a gallery. Planning is not my strength.
★ Gordon's Top 10 Favorite Sandwiches - I don't know his sandwich preferences. I realize now I don't know a lot of basic things about my friend.
★ Interactive "Ask Gordon" chatbot - I can't make a real chatbot. It would just be me, refreshing the page, typing responses manually.
★ Gordon Screensaver (for Windows 98) - I don't know how to make a screensaver. I barely made this website.

Expected completion: honestly, never. Let's not pretend.

🚧

⚠ Y2K COMPLIANCE NOTICE ⚠

This website has not been tested for anything. I don't know how to test a website.
If it breaks your computer, that's on you for visiting a site clearly made by someone
who chose Comic Sans on purpose. You had all the warning signs.

*:..｡o○ ○o｡..:* *:..｡o○ ○o｡..:* *:..｡o○ ○o｡..:*
You are visitor #000,004,782

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💻 Best viewed in Netscape Navigator 4.0 at 800x600 resolution 💻
Made with ♥ and a deep sense of "why am I doing this"
🎵 Optimized for nothing. I optimized nothing. 🎵

© 2000 Gordon's World. No rights reserved. Who would steal this.
One webmaster was emotionally harmed in the making of this website (me).
This site is not affiliated with any other Gordon, including but not limited to:
Gordon Ramsay, Flash Gordon, Commissioner Gordon, or Gordon the Garden Gnome.
It's not really affiliated with the actual Gordon either. He doesn't know about this yet.

Please do not redistribute. Not for legal reasons. I just don't want more people to see this.

Thanks for visiting. Please don't tell anyone about this. Unless you're Gordon. Gordon, if you're reading this, hey. That's the whole point. Hey.